Everyone’s heard the phrase “motherhood doesn’t come with a handbook” or “your maternal instincts will kick in”. That is absolutely right. But there are some things I wish I knew before I brought my babies into the world to make MY life easier. Becoming a mother is full of surprises. Here are 10 things I wish I knew before I became a mom.
Lesson #1: Learn How to Sleep
It’s true, you will get a lot less sleep when your baby arrives. Sleep like a baby is the biggest myth I’ve ever heard. A newborn baby nurses or takes a bottle around the clock. But by the time your baby is six or eight weeks old; he or she has the potential to sleep in 6-8 hour stretches. And by the time your baby is ten to twelve weeks old; he or she has the potential to sleep 10-12 hours a night. Oh, how I wish I knew this before I had my first. I think my husband and I went a full year without sleeping. Every time Harper cried, I immediately took her out of her bassinet and nursed her. You’re really not supposed to do that. I wish I knew sooner.
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How do you teach a baby to sleep?
Invest in Taking Cara Babies “Will I Ever Sleep Again” course for newborns 0-12 weeks.
Cara is a mom of four, neonatal nurse, and wife of a pediatrician. Her passion is teaching parents how to help their babies sleep with the science of a nurse and the heart of a mama so they can reclaim the joy of parenthood. It’s brilliant. The class teaches you how to calm a fussy baby, have confidence as a parent, read your baby’s cues, set your days and nights up for success, and love the newborn stage.
Did you know that until 1990, babies slept on their bellies? Then the safe sleep campaign kicked off and babies were encouraged to sleep on their backs. But the change in policy introduced a new problem. Even though it was medically safer, babies don’t sleep as well on their backs. They wake up more. When they sleep on their backs, they have little spasms that jolt their arms up and that movement wakes them up? That’s why she recommends a swaddle.
Did you know pacifiers are actually recommended now and help prevent SIDS and a helpful tool to encourage sleep? And naps and sleep schedules are so important so your baby isn’t overtired. Sound machines are so important because the placenta is noisy 24/7! You want your volume to be the to the level of a shower sound. We always had a sound machine in her nursery but not one for on the go. Now I have one. I learned all of this and so much more taking Cara’s course.
Helpful Ways to Encourage Sleep
One. Invest in the SNOO. This luxury bassinet has a built-in swaddle that is very secure. Your baby will not be able to break out or roll over on its belly. It’s important to note that it will keep your baby sleeping in his or her back, which is considered safest to reduce the risk of SIDS. The Snoo was invented by Dr. Harvey Karp, a pediatrician best known for writing the sleep guide The Happiest Baby On The Block and creating the 5 S’s (Swaddle, Side, Shush, Swing, Suck). Care discusses these 5 S’s in her courses as well.
The SNOO is beautifully designed with a faux wood bottom. This really doesn’t affect its abilities, it goes right along with Lesson #2. Of all the baby gear we (I mean my husband) put together, the Snoo was the easiest. Its four legs easily snap into place, which is the only assembly required. You need to spend a little bit of time setting up the app on your phone which is truly easy.
The SNOO comes with three organic cotton swaddles in Small, Medium, and Large that grow with the baby. And a crib sheet. I recommend buying a second crib sheet too. The swaddles must be attached to the hooks inside the Snoo for the bassinet to turn on, The swaddles have a zipper up the middle, which makes for easy swaddling. I never even swaddled with Harper. There is so much I’ve learned since she was a baby.
The SNOO has an app that enables you to track your baby’s sleep, while also controlling the pace of the jiggling motion and the volume of the white noise. There’s a button on the side that turns the Snoo on, which starts the jiggling and white noise at the lowest level. As your baby cries, the button changes color to reflect the higher levels of ‘calming,’ with more rigorous jiggling and louder white noise that is intended to recreate the feeling of being in the womb. It’s very smart.
It has various microphones that respond to crying. The SNOO has a built-in white noise machine and cycles through different sounds for sleep versus crying. The movement also speeds up as the baby gets upset. The SNOO will stop movement all together if there is continuous crying for a few minutes.
Unfortunately, the cost of good sleep is close to $1200 if you buy new. There are many options to rent one for dollars a day or buy used. I bought ours on sale! They do go on sale so keep an eye out.
If this can truly give your family hours more sleep per night for the first 6 months of life, in my opinion, it really is worth it. Will you and your baby be okay without the SNOO? Yes, of course. But it has made our life a whole lot easier. And for someone who has had a baby without the SNOO and with the SNOO, I would 100% recommend. Join the SNOO mom’s Facebook group for helpful tips. It’s a community of mothers just like you.
The SNOO was accepted into the FDA’s Breakthrough Device Program, which means that the FDA is fast-tracking its review to consider it to be a SIDS/SUID prevention product. Babies have slept over 75 million hours in the SNOO with ZERO injuries or deaths. Click HERE to read the full article about this research / FDA consideration.
Two. Buy GOOD swaddles. As discussed above, when your baby sleeps on his or her back, the moro (startle) reflex wakes them up. The swaddle prevents the newborn startle reflex from waking them by keeping the baby’s arms tight to their sides. Even though they look like a little Houdini like my mom would say, it’s truly the best thing for them. Newborns also feel comforted and calm in the tight, womb-like wrap. And loose blankets are not recommended so it keeps your baby warm.
I’m recommending the Ollie swaddle because it is one size fits all and I am all about the longest usage. The Ollie swaddle is made from a custom-designed moisture-wicking material so there is no overheating. That’s especially important to us in sunny Florida. The swaddle wraps comfortably around your baby with the help of three velcro strips and an elastic tie at the bottom. It’s stretchy and soft and allows you to swaddle with arms in or out, depending on your baby’s preference and developmental stage. So, arms in for the first couple months and arms out once they start rolling over.
Three. Have a good sound machine for the room and for travel. I recommend the Hatch sound machine and the Rohm for travel. The Hatch Sound Machine aligns well with the techy SNOO. The device offers multiple functions, including soothing white noise, a customizable night light, and a time-to-rise feature—all of which can be controlled from your phone. The Rohm Portable White Noise Sound Machine is designed to mask noises anywhere, at any time on the go.
Four. Have a few different types of pacifiers to introduce to the baby. Cara taught me that a pacifier allows for non-nutritive sucking. Non-nutritive sucking has several benefits for your baby: Releases endorphins in the brain promotes relaxation and provides comfort and security.
Five. Offer your baby a nap every 60-90 minutes for the first 12 weeks of life. Have your newborn take at least one nap in its nighttime sleep spot. One of my bigger takeaways from taking Cara’s course.
Lesson #2. Think of Your Home Aesthetic When Buying and Registering Baby Items
When you become a mom, so much of your life becomes about what is practical. It is totally possible to live simply when you bring a tiny human home. Again, this blog post is titled, 10 Things I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Mom. I did not avoid plastic, primary colors, or an abundance of toys with my first. But now, I would recommend avoiding plastic and going for natural materials as much as your budget allows. Buy wood toys. Think of natural colors when purchasing baby gear. Trust me, you’ll thank me later.
Create a baby registry with items that will help you care for your beautiful new baby for the first year and beyond. Focus on multi-purpose items and things that can grow with your baby. When family and friends want to give you something for the baby, direct them to your registry so they are purchasing things that YOU truly want in your home. Instead of buying a bouncer, a rocker, a swing, etc; buy one.
Companies I Like to Support (Good Quality, Aesthetically-Pleasing):
Tubby Todd, a family-owned company for clean bath products. Dockatot for tummy time, travel showers, and everything in between. Solly Baby and Sakura Bloom for baby wraps and carriers. Lily Jade for the perfect diaper bag made with vegan leather and Pixie Mood for an everyday bag. Finn & Emma for sustainable clothing and toys. Cuddle & Kind for a doll that supports feeding children in need. Shop small if you can. There is a community of small businesses that specialize in baby clothes, gear, etc. Support them if you are able. I love the moms behind HARTS bootees and Matrescence skin.
Lesson #3. Buy a WIPEABLE Changing Table
There are a lot of things parents don’t realize they need until they actually need them and a portable, wipeable changing pad is one of them. I can’t say enough about the Keekaroo changing pad. It has an easy to wipe down a surface that doesn’t absorb water and can easily be disinfected anytime, keeping everything clean and safe for your baby. And since it’s both scratch and puncture-resistant, you won’t have to worry about unsightly cracks allowing moisture to seep in. It’s made of skid material and safety buckle to keep your child from sliding or moving around when you have them in the changer. The best news, you will never need changing covers again.
You can also look at the Hatch, Skip Hop, and Bumbo at a smaller price point.
Lesson #4. Buy all of the Frida Baby Products.
The brilliant Swedish company started with its NoseFrida and expanded. With Harper, we used the NoseFrida aka the snot sucker. It helps alleviate clogged noses. The NoseFrida creates a seal with the outside of the baby’s nostrils for gentle snot-sucking. It comes with disposable filters that are clinically proven to prevent the transfer of mucus or bacterial germs to the snot sucker when clearing stuffy noses. Open up a normal snot sucking bulb. Disgusting. This thing is also pediatrician recommended.
The Windi Frida has been a new discovery with Hudson. The Windi is a special product that helps alleviate the baby’s gas pain and/or helps them poop. You insert a lubricated plastic applicator in the tushy after rubbing down the belly and let it do its thing. The Windi is a natural solution for colic, constipation, and other gas-related problems. It works instantly and does not require the ingestion of any drops or medication. The Windi was invented by a pediatric gastroenterologist. The first time I tried I couldn’t believe how effective it was. No one likes to see their newborn in gas pain.
Frida Baby makes great, inexpensive, and useful products that really help when your baby is feeling sick, stuffed up, or gassy. Frida even makes products to help you with postpartum healing.
Lesson #5. Oxi Clean
Sometimes – in fact, often with babies– stains just do not come out with the typical method of spraying with a stain remover and throwing in the wash. And your favorite baby outfit is ruined. NOT. Oxiclean to the rescue. A friend taught me this trick and I have never had to throw away a piece of Harper’s clothing; even after I washed it and the stain was still there.
I use a 3 or 5-gallon bucket of water most often for stain removal. If I am just soaking one item, I will use a salad bowl of some sort of a larger Tupperware. I store this overnight in my utility sink in the laundry room.
I use a scoop of Oxi Clean per gallon of water, especially if the item is heavily soiled (poop, chocolate, etc). So I use almost a whole scoop if I’m using a salad bowl and 2 full scoops if I am going to fill my 3 or 5-gallon bucket about 3/4 of the way full of water. Next, fill your container with warm or hot water and leave for 24 hours. You want to ensure that all of the items stay adequately wet with the Oxi Clean water so rub your hands in there and stir it around. I recommend using gloves. On the next day, take the whole bucket and pour it into the washing machine and wash it with a full load. I make sure the stain is gone before placing it into the dryer. Now you will be able to pass down all of your sweet, meaningful baby items to your next child or family member.
Lesson #6. Zipper Onesies or Gowns
I’ve said it before but once you become a parent, suddenly everything is all about convenience, including diaper changes. All you need are one-pieces that zip diagonally and have a single fastener on top. No parent wants to button or snap in the middle of the night. Zip pajamas have been a craved item for a long time but the full-length two-way zipper is brand new in the baby industry, making this a pioneer product that’s changing the pajama game across the board. I also recommend gowns. No buttons. No clips. Just easy and effective. Think late-night diaper changes in a delirious fog when shopping.
Lesson #7 Go Easy on the Baby Stuff
Don’t overload your wardrobe with clothes. Your baby will outgrow them faster than you can imagine. Don’t buy tons of toys, rockers, bouncers, swings, etc…You only have so much room in your house. Do your research. If I did it over, I would skip the swing, the rocker, the bouncer, the walker, and just buy the Baby Bjorn bouncer. Another Swedish brand like the Frida Baby, the Baby Bjorn Bouncer is like baby magic. It’s a place for your baby to play or rest beside you while you take a shower or enjoy a cup of coffee. The baby bouncer rocks gently when babies kick their legs or wave their arms. No batteries needed – the baby bouncer runs on pure fun! Playing in the baby bouncer also helps your baby develop motor skills and balance. Once your tot gets big and strong, the bouncer can be turned into a children’s rocking chair.
Lesson #8 Breastfeeding & Bottle Feeding
Your boobs will go from normal to oh-my-god-huge and then they will feel like they hardened into concrete then just big and juicy. If you’re nursing it may be hard, You may get mastitis. If you feel like you have the Flu or COVID-19, it may be mastitis. Get on an antibiotic asap or try natural remedies. Good breastfeeding techniques can help prevent sore and cracked nipples that may lead to mastitis. Breastfeed regularly. Alternate your breasts each feeding. Use a nipple cream for cracked nipples so they can’t get bacteria inside. Seek a lactation specialist to teach you the proper latch. Drink lots of water.
Buy a Haakaa. A friend recommended it to me. It’s simple – while you breastfeed, you’ll probably find that milk naturally leaks out of your other breast. The Haakaa is designed to be used during nursing to collect that leaking milk from the second breast. It does more than collect the drips; because you attach it to your breast by squeezing the bulb and creating a vacuum, it actually sucks milk from your breast. The suction stimulates your breast to let the milk down and then it flows rather than just dripping. Then store all of your excess breast milk in storage bags and lay them horizontally in the freezer. Write the date with a sharpie.
Bottles-We use the Como Tomo bottles “breastfeeding in a bottle”. The Como Tomo bottle is designed to mimic breastfeeding to help babies easily transition back and forth from nursing to bottle-feeding. The bottle is actually squishy and soft. They use a soft, skin-like silicone material – to offer a soothing, calming touch, and better grip. The bottles are super easy to clean and come with different nipple sizes. Find a bottle that’s right for your baby.
Lesson #9 Plan for Yourself
The first month is SO hard. You will be hungry all the time if you’re nursing. Maybe it was just me, but I felt like I was literally starving all the time. At least for the first month or two. Labor and delivery will take a lot out of you and so does motherhood. Plan ahead to have lots of good food available at your house and accept food from those who offer. And eat. The baby weight will come off but you need those extra calories to provide nourishment to your baby.
You are allowed to take a break once in a while even if it’s for just 30 minutes. Go take a nice long shower, drink a hot cup of coffee, or do 30 minutes on the Peloton bike (or any exercise once your doctor clears you). You can’t pour from an empty cup mama. Use your baby wrap and take that new baby for a pedicure. Get outside once a day. Whether its pushing your baby in the stroller or wearing them in your Solly wrap. Both of you could use a little Vitamin D.
Check out my post 10 Reasons I love My Peloton Bike.
Lesson #10 Love Was Really Only a Word Before I Became a Mom
There’s so much love. I wish I had known how absolutely overwhelmed with emotions I would be. The love is so strong it can change you. I never knew that I could love someone so much.
It’s mind-blowing how connected you can feel to a person that can’t communicate verbally with you. It’s a whirlwind. One day you’re embracing their growth and development and the next feeling sad that the days of just quietly snuggling have come to an end. You want them to talk and understand because every time Harper got a little older I would say, this is definitely the best phase. But when our newborn Hudson arrived, I found a calmness just snuggling, nursing, and smelling his breath.
You will experience a deeper joy than you have ever known. I’ve always heard, you will love no one like you love your children. It is true. I think it’s natural and instinctive. You will never be the center of your own universe, ever again. Someone or a couple someone’s more important will be. And as a mom, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
XOXO Kenzie
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